'The PhD Commandments'

(Found on an old file in my computer, written during the PhD. Unpublished, unfinished; I probably meant to go back and say many more things. I'm just going to publish it now.)

Here are The PhD Commandments:

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Thou shalt not work from home too often. If overused, home becomes lonely and depressing. Home is booby-trapped with distractions and tasks (cleaning under the oven, tidying socks) into which the hapless procrastinator runs.

Thou shalt get thyself a small portable computer (for around £200), so that thou canst work in libraries and university cafes, but without breaking thine back or wrists in carrying the thing.

Thou shalt take regular breaks from work, and reward thyself with treats.

Thou shalt take at least one full day off a week.

Thou shalt try to write thine PhD for at least 10 minutes non-stop every working day. If thou succedest, try writing for 30 minutes. If that works well, try doing tomatoes. ('the tomato approach' is outlined briefly here.)

Thou shalt not skimp on exercise, meals and sleep.

Thou shalt not say 'I am not worthy'. [I am not clever, my PhD is rubbish.] Thou art VERY CLEVER. (Thou wouldst not have gotten this far if thou did not have some pretty special gifts.)

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(And thou shalt get off this blog now, and go do ten minutes of work!...)

CN xx

'What have I done'

I had a sad thought cross my mind the other day, and it was this: am I just a big waste of space?... I don't really do anything, I haven't really ACHIEVED anything; four years on from my PhD and still I haven't found a decent job; all I do is potter around in my Grotty Job from time to time, pursue a few creative projects half-arsedly on the side, and mostly I just sit around, have a nice time, cook and eat and spend too much money, go to gyms and exercise, scribble useless things in a notebook, and apart from that, nothing.

This is one of those thoughts that comes to you when you are trying to work alone and are a bit panicked, and you haven't planned your time very well so the day stretches blankly ahead like an empty succession of hours to be wasted; you know you have lots to do, but you can't even remember where to start; and then the thought comes to you, masquerading as a perfectly logical truth, based on the 'facts' of that day (I'm terrible, I'm not even doing anything, I'm not doing anything good with my life).

It's not true, of course. I had to think very hard about this one, but eventually I remembered that I am not a waste of space. I think I'm often confusing the notion of 'success' with 'financial success', which, tis true, is something I haven't yet completely achieved. But if, actually, the point of being in this world is to light up your corner of that world a little bit, and contribute something, and help a few people achieve their goal, then maybe I haven't done too badly.

I have:

- helped one or two people finish their PhD (and the proof is in their comments!... Thanks, lovely people!...)

- taught many students, over my time as an 'academic', and at least one of those students reports being inspired by this

- I have done a lot of creative projects and have amused many people with silly, pretty things... (I was trawling through my laptop the other day, searching for a specific file, and I was surprised by how many forgotten old little commissions I ran across - and actually how much effort and joy had gone into them...)

- I keep forgetting this one: I have written a book!... (and I want to write another one - I have so many projects in the pipeline - but how to do them all?... How?... ... Note to self: dig out The Procrastination Bible. That is ALWAYS the solution)

- I have written things and published things online that people have enjoyed.

- I have been nice to friends and family and cooked them food and tried to give them love and kindness (I've probably failed quite a lot at this last bit, I know, but I do try)



... Quote of the day:

"Let your life be shaped by decisions you made, not by the ones you didn’t."


(Maybe I haven't really made too many 'bad' decisions; none that I wouldn't own to, and none that I wouldn't 'stand by'. It's not too bad, this life of mine. It's what I created; it's genuinely and honestly mine. Maybe people will say nice things about me at my funeral.)



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Contact me on hatemyphd 'at' yahoo.com