Tuesday, 30 June 2015

Job hunting

I’ve been doing some job hunting, and have recently applied for two nice jobs: one very well-paid one, which would have involved being creative and using all my experience and skills (they actually WANTED a PhD!), and another one, which would have involved doing lots of basic admin, but which would have let me work with postgraduate students. Lots of opportunities to grow and teach and learn.

I say ‘the job would have involved’, because I have heard back from both applications, and have not got an interview (hence the ‘this-job-is-not-for-me’ past conditional structure is appropriate). (Cf the British Council website, which explains: ‘We use ‘would have’ in past conditionals to talk about something that did not happen’.)

I don’t know, sometimes I think I should just… give up. Maybe I should stop applying for nice admin jobs, when it is becoming clear that no-one particularly wants an ex-PhD student for one of those, and that they all have plenty of their own (qualified, experienced) admin people to choose from.

Maybe (horror of horrors) I should actually focus not on the ‘getting a job’ bit, but on doing the things I actually want to do once I have one (writing my own projects, publishing a book, working towards my own creative goals. That is why, ladies and gentlemen, I want a nice job in the first place. So that I can breathe more easily about the financial side of things, and in my spare time can focus on the things I actually want to get done in this world. Maybe this jobhunting thing is all just a way of delaying what I really want to do with my life. ‘Yes, I will write a book. But first I need a nice job so I can support myself…’)

Maybe I should stop applying for jobs which are clearly destined for other people, and instead write out my own perfect job description, and just hire myself?...

Job Advert: Motivational Writer Extraordinaire
Closing date: tomorrow
Salary: competitive

“We are looking for an exceptional writer and blogger, with excellent communication, writing, blogging, and daydreaming skills. Must have experience of writing content for blogs and websites; additional experience of comedy writing desirable. Must have experience of successfully completing a PhD, and writing about it in a motivational way; must also have up-to-date knowledge of key works of self-help literature. A very silly sense of humour and a keen eye for elements of the ridiculous in everyday problems are essential. Cartoon-drawing skills desirable. The ability to make an exceptionally fine cheesecake (with a view to one day writing a cookbook of amazing recipes) would also be a bonus.”

I think I’ll apply.

Tuesday, 9 June 2015


A conversation between an Ex-PhD student (now a Doctor) and her Lover.

Lover: Hey you. How are you doing?
Me: Great, actually. I was just going to show you something: look, here’s a job I might apply for. What do you think?...
Lover: [looks at job advert] Hmmm… Mmm. I don’t know. Aren’t you a bit over-qualified for it?...
Me: [looking at Lover] Darling - - I am over-qualified, for EVERY SINGLE JOB THERE IS.
[comedy laughter]

This and other hilarious jokes are brought to you by I Hate My PhD!

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