Just a quick post today to announce to the world that I AM BORED. I am struggling massively to get ANYTHING written today. this has been the case all week. I have tried to have fun things to do lined up, so I don't feel that my life is a massive burden. I have tried to do a half-hour of work here and there, and have tried to bribe myself with promises such as 'just one half-hour;, or 'just write about this person and then you can go' (I am trying to write my literature review. i have been told that it's normal to feel very bored when you are doing this). Nothing is working; i just don't want to.
'When you sit down to write your literature review', the Clever Professor told an auditorium-ful of us students, at his seminar entitled 'How To Write a Literature Review', 'the first thing you will do is make yourself a cup of tea. ... You will then switch on the TV to see if there is anything good on. You might even, exceptionally, find yourself wanting to do a bit of ironing.' As we laughed, he explained: the point is, you will not want to write your literature review. It IS a bit boring and tedious, EVERYONE feels this way, YOU will feel this way, and so don't beat yourself about it.
The thing is, i really, reeeeeeeally WANT to write my literature review. Because as soon as it is written, I have it, and I have done it. And I can edit it. And I will be one step closer to finishing my PhD. But what's stopping me is this: I know that there is a lot of work to do before it will be finished. From typing out my notes about what so-and-so has written, and why it's relevant to my argument, to actually arranging those notes in a coherent form, in such a way that they justify the need for my research, blah blah blah - I can see a long and winding road ahead, a thorny and treacherous path, and I can see the faces of supervisors, blank with incomprehension and asking me 'what am I trying to say'. Part of me cannot be arsed.
Another part of me knows that I have to be arsed, and that I want to be arsed. This part of me will now go and get a scrap of paper, and begin scribbling.
Oh God, it's 11:46. (Am wondering if I should go read from the Procrastination Bible again to help me feel motivated and serene. Am concerned, however, that I could spend so much time studying this holy text that I would never actually get around to doing any work anyway.)
A PhD is really a horrible, horrible thing. Please spread the word to the younger generation: DON'T DO IT.