19th May

... Somewhere in the world, there is a wedding dress, waiting to be worn.

(And I don't just mean the 'royal wedding' wedding dress. I could also mean lots of other dresses; but in particular one very nice dress which has just been made and which has just been tried on - yesterday, actually - and which in a few weeks' time will be worn, and danced in, and possibly a bit destroyed, depending on how much red wine is drunk, and spilled.  Somewhere in the world there is a wedding dress, and in a few weeks' time, someone gets to wear it...)

(A note on commitment: committing to a man - no problem. Committing to a DRESS, however: oh my God. There are SO MANY NICE ONES, and you are only supposed to pick the one (OK; maximum two...). How are you supposed to know which beautiful thing out of all the beautiful things you should definitely go for?...)

(And then you try it on, and as beautiful as it is, toucan't help but notice that there is one hanging just off to the side, behind you, which wasn't there last year, and which looks soul-crushingly lovely, but it would probably be weird if you now said 'Ooh, can I try it on?')

Committing to a PhD, when you don't really want to do your PhD, and want to play instead: annoyingly difficult.

Committing to a job: awful. How are you supposed to know if you are going for the right job, as you seek that permanent position and close off the other options?...

Somewhere in the world, a wedding dress waiting for the finishing touches. Somewhere else in the world (not too far from here), a job application (for a summer job this summer) waiting to be started. Deadline tomorrow.

Wish me LUCK!...


CN xx