Yes. Yes I do.
It is called
‘The Life-Changing Magic of
Tidying’
And it is by
Marie Kondo.
And I found it completely by accident. I was shopping for
books to give to a friend as a birthday present, when this book, with its
minimalist, almost-pure-white cover (with just a sliver of red, black and gold)
drew me to it, called out to me from across the shop floor: come and see me,
come and look at me, you know you want to.
(It reminds me how many of the truly best things you find in
life – or, to use the PhD example, some of the best ideas you come up with for
your PhD – come to you completely by accident. A big tome gets knocked off the
desk and falls on the floor; you bend down to pick it up with a sigh of
annoyance, and suddenly you spot it: the page on which the book fell open
contains exactly what you need. The chance conversation with a friend over
coffee, which suddenly and inexplicably provides you with an answer as to what
you should really say in Chapter 3. There is a kind of magic which happens when
you just let yourself go with the flow and open your ears up to the universe.
By contrast, you can sit diligently for hours on end, straining to come up with
ideas, and find nothing. If you clutch at
it, it won’t come…)
So anyway. I took my new book home and began to read it
almost immediately. It was a Tuesday night. Just twenty-four hours later, I was
due to be packed and ready and have a purse full of euros in preparation for a
foreign holiday. But the book made me so excited that I resolved that, before I
went on holiday, I would start doing what it says. This mammoth task which had
been looming before me for many months now – to tidy up, to get rid of some of
my things, things accumulated over years of hoarding, of PhD, of never quite
having the time to tidy – this crazy task I would attempt that Wednesday, and I
would complete a chunk of it before I set off on holiday.
And I did it. Twenty-four-hours after I started to read the
book, I had:
-
sorted through all my clothes and earmarked
roughly 10 bags of clothes to give away; cycled down with every single one of
those bags to the local charity shop
-
found time to go and get the euros, as well as
do everything else I needed to do in town
-
tidied up all the clothes that were left,
folding them carefully and organizing them
-
managed to pack, eat, have several naps, and
leave a (reasonably) clean house.
And it wasn’t hard. And I
couldn’t believe how happy I was. I was finally tackling the huge task of
tidying up my messy life.
I won’t tell you every single
thing the book says, because I think you should buy it and read it (especially
if you are a messy PhD student with too much stuff). But one thing which was
helpful, and which was the whole reason I was able to get started, was this:
the book tells you to tidy not by room, but by category. It says: start with
clothes, then move on to books, then papers; miscellaneous things; then,
finally, sentimental things like photos. Put absolutely everything you own in
each category in one place, like on the floor. The pile might be knee-deep, but
no matter. Hold each thing in your hands and ask yourself only one question:
does it spark joy?... If the answer is no, throw it out.
As you might know from a previous post, I have always been a massive hoarder, but I really, really don’t want to be one.
Every time I have to move house, I sigh and look around the newly empty room I
am leaving, and I think’ This place looks so much nicer without all my stuff in
it. Why couldn’t I just keep it like this when I lived here?... Why did I fill
it with so much unnecessary clutter?...’ Underneath all the piles of paper, all
the books, and all the clothes, all the baggage I carry about, I can sense a
tidy person, a person with a love of clean blank spaces, just crying to get
out. Not an ex-PhD student who sits on the floor in a pair of sweat pants
surrounded by piles of mess, but a woman who wants to light scented candles
(impossible because papers are fire hazard), drink green tea (where did I put
that cup?...), and do yoga (no room on the floor…).
I came back from my holiday and
started excitedly on the books.
Now it is late afternoon and the
books have been sorted through, even though I found myself stalling slightly
over them. And I found an interesting, though not really surprising, thing. In
asking myself ‘does this spark joy?’ as I held up, one by one, those academic
tomes which I had purchased for my PhD – the ones that cost a bomb and which I
wanted to have at home because I was scared that I had not completely
understood them, that I would need to quote from them again, that I just had to have them – the answer was pretty
much almost always ‘no’. With the exception of a few pretty books, or one or
two that are actually interesting on some other level, I found that I would
basically be happy to get rid of pretty much all the books I purchased to help
me finish my PhD. The saddest thing of all was holding up one particular
hardback tome. I asked myself the question ‘Does it spark joy?’ and with a
shudder put the book down. Yet it is a book which I shouldn’t be wanting to
throw away. It is the academic book in which I published my first academic
article. My name is in there, and my words are in there, and I do not want it.
I’d rather it wasn’t here.
So I have all these books – they
do not spark joy, I know I don’t want to be reading them again – but I don’t
feel I can give them away, because … because I feel like I’m not finished with
them. About a hundred years ago, just before I finished my thesis, I agreed to
someone’s request to write an article about all this PhD stuff. And I’m also
supposed to be teaching a few classes again, at the uni which has been my home
this year, and which helped me get my grant for this year.
I ask myself, what would the
writer of this book say if you told her, ‘I have all these things here that
don’t spark any joy whatsoever. I don’t like them and I don’t want them in my
house anymore. But I need to keep them because I might need them for my job…’
I have a feeling that she might
say ‘You’re in the wrong job.’
***
(As I write this, I have a solution in the back of my mind. Take books down to university library, make generous donation to
the relevant library section; pop down there and use the books as and when
needed – if they ever are needed – but no need to have them in the house again.
Phase out former profession, and thus phase out the need to look at them again.
Maybe… Perhaps…)
I bought this book but am yet to start the process. I have had a lot going on, so I am not beating myself up. I have just this week stopped buying any new clothes, and will do this for a year. This includes secondhand clothes too. I have at least stopped the influx, and will start the outflow early in May. I feel quite excited about this, because I think all this stuff has heavy energy.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you got the book - I really recommend it. It helped me let go of a LOT of stuff (and I think the whole 'letting go' process is something I needed to learn, and apply to other areas of my life as well, so the tidying was good practice!...) I'm currently living abroad for a few months, with only a small suitcase of 'things' to call my own - again, this can only be a good experience. :) I like your idea of not buying clothes for a year!... I'm doing a similar thing, except my rule is that I'm not buying any clothes that cost over £10 (the beauty of this is that very few things I might like cost less than £10, so this avoids that thing where I innocently come home with a host of dresses all at £25.99, and then am shocked by the total amount on my account statement. But it also means that I can bring home the occasional treat!!)
ReplyDeleteGood luck with the tidying. Here's to being surrounded only by things that spark joy! Xx