Application for the Position Of...

Dear Miss Nine,*

…

Thank you for your application in response to our advertisement for the above appointment. Your details have been very carefully considered, along with all other applications for the post, in relation to the ideal candidate specification for the role. Having done so, we regret to inform you that you will not be invited to interview.

…

Thank you for applying for the above position. I regret that your application was not successful on this occasion, as other candidates more closely matched the requirements of the position.

…

Thank you for coming to interview on Wednesday for the above position. I am sorry to tell you that the interview panel decided after careful consideration to offer the position to another candidate. 

…

Thank you very much for your application […]. There were a very high number of applications this year and the competition was very strong; unfortunately you have not been selected to go through to the next stage of the scheme. 

…

…

Thank you for applying for the position of […].

I am sorry to inform you that, on this occasion and after careful consideration, unfortunately we will not be taking your application further.

… and they all say:

Please be aware that due to the high number of applications that we receive, we are unable to provide further feedback at this stage of the process.

Or,

Unfortunately, due to the large number of posts we advertise and the significant number of candidate applications we receive, [we are] unable to respond to requests for further feedback relating to the quality of applications submitted.

Hmmm. Then again, maybe I should apply for more than, like, the five jobs I’ve applied for.

*not her real name. Ps. I sometimes don’t dare to put ‘Dr’ in front of my name on job applications anymore. I worry that they think I’m overqualified, and that's why I'm not getting any of the jobs I want. Or maybe they think I’m actually a medic, in which case they must think I am doubly stupid, applying for careers that have nothing to do with the medical profession. Maybe I should look for jobs in the NHS.